Momma always said there'd be days like this...

Days like these hit me the hardest. They twist and turn my heart and my insides into mush. It's days and things that happen in my life, leave me feeling alone.

They leave me feeling my loss. It's days like the last several that remind me I miss her so much. She's will always be my "person". When things come down the pike that I need to check myself for, cry about, or just talk, I feel the empty whole in my heart. I am grateful that it was once filled with love. I guess in a way it will always be full. Not being able to talk to her is so frustrating. She knew me better than I knew me. That was kind of our thing. That why we were such a perfect match. Honestly I don't think that two friends were ever more Compatible. I know that she's in that part of my heart forever but to be able to have her look at me again with those beautiful brown eyes and just say Kimmi....in a perfect world how would you want this scenario to play out. Talking it out with her always made everything easier to process. I could use you right now.....I know you're up

There and I know you are watching over me. I love you B

Mommy Madness: BEWARE ONLINE COSTUME RETAILER FRAUD

Mommy Madness: BEWARE ONLINE COSTUME RETAILER FRAUD: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Kimberly Blackburn 815.714.2628                    Halloween Costume Store FRAUD (Joliet, ...

BEWARE ONLINE COSTUME RETAILER FRAUD

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CONTACT: Kimberly Blackburn

815.714.2628

      

           

Halloween Costume Store FRAUD

(Joliet, IL) – Online Halloween costume superstore wholesalehalloweencostumes.com is taking payments for goods not in stock.  Kimberly Blackburn, placed an order September 26th on the popular google trusted website.  After not receiving a confirmation email, Blackburn called the number on the website to confirm the order.  Mrs. Blackburn spoke to a representative who told her that her order had been cancelled because the item was out of stock.  Blackburn explained that the item was listed as available and she was able to order it and provided the order number.  The customer service representative transferred Blackburn to the supervisor, Megan.  Megan began telling Blackburn that her order was never processed, they did not have the item in stock, and confirmation emails can take up to several hours.  After Blackburn provided the order number, Megan again told her that the order was not processed and her credit card was not charged.  The supervisor refused to provide Blackburn with any further information about the company or who she could contact to rectify the situation. 

After getting off the phone Mrs. Blackburn checked her bank statement only to find a charge from the costume store. There was a phone number on the statement different than the previous one.  Blackburn called and spoke to a man with a European accent who told her that he had no knowledge of the costume store.  After confirming the phone number with him, she thanked him and hung up.  Upon hearing of the blatant negligence, lies, and possible credit card fraud, on the part of the costume store, Blackburn’s husband, John, called and was treated similarly and told that it would be at least 3-5 days to refund their credit card.  Further attempts to reach out to the costume store for refund were denied, and the Blackburn’s have still not received a confirmation email canceling the order, or a credit to their card.  

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Where has the summer gone?

I love summer! The sun, the pools, the sand. Picnics and parties and festivals and Tastes! I hate that it is ending so quickly. I have such an amazing summer. With my much younger sister staying with us.  It has made the first summer vacation the GREATEST! We had dance, and baseball, swim lessons. My little mermaids have both passed the swim test at Splash Station.  They can go on any slide they want. It amazing how much fun and how happy our little "girl party" is. I love watching these little fishes . They swim and swim and swim. And I love it! Tomorrow will be the last day that Splash is open. Last day for Lindsay to work. I can't believe it's gone by so fast. I have to say this has been one of the best summers ever!

Time does NOT make it easier...

It's been almost a year and a half and not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Which would be fine if it was all the amazing happy fun things that we did and moments that we shared, but it's not. There is anger, tears, despair, and loneliness. I'm still pissed. I'm pissed at you for leaving. I'm pissed at me for not being able to "move on" like everyone says I should. I'm pissed that horrible, disgusting, despicable people get to live and still be on this earth and you're not. I thought that I was getting better. I've read the bullshit steps of grief more times than I can count. Mostly I think, to try to trick myself into believing that I am "progressing" in grief. Well I'm not. I'm still pissed. I hear stories in the news, hell stories right in front of my face about horrible mothers and I get so angry I can't see straight. You are an amazing mother. Why are you gone but these scummy people are still here. When am I going to stop being so angry? I give the lip service about "everything happens for a reason" but it's bullshit. There is no good reason why you aren't here. There is no good reason why we aren't raising our girls together. There is no good reason why your girls don't have a mom. I can't come up with any reasons. I can't stop being angry. I don't want to be angry but I am. I don't want to feel this way but I do. I will never have another best friend. I will never again trust anyone the way I trusted you. I will never again know what it's like to have you here to talk to. When do I stop being angry? When do I think of you and not feel like my heart is being ripped out. When do I stop feeling so alone? I miss you B 

How do you not raise a HOARDER?

Ok so it's clean out time.  Clean out the old to make room for the new.  I'm terrible about this.  I'm a mild hoarder.  I keep things because "what if I need that someday".  As my husband repeatedly reminds me, every time he goes to the basement, someday never comes and we have a basement full of junk.  I think it's full of my treasures but he doesn't quite see it that way.   

Now it's time to teach my girls about this.  J1 gets it.  She doesn't love it but she says its what God would want her to do.  Thank you Catholic school.  J2 does not get this.  She cries, hoards, and literally melts down when "old" things go away.  I thought it was normal when she got her big girl bed.  I thought it was my fault when it was her binkys.  Then it was the microwave.  We got a new one and she cried her eyes out in a full on dramatic episode.  She cried for over a half hour about missing "mikeywave" and how she didn't get to say goodbye.  

We have gotten somewhere.  After much deliberation she allows me to send old baby clothes to her little cousin.  Well as we are cleaning out the closets we found their old winter coats.  J1 happily tells me that she's like to donate her coat.  J2 not so much.  She put it on and danced around the house crying about how much she would miss it.  It's maddening but I'm the same way I save everything.  At 5 years old have I ruined her?  Can I change this?  Am I completely overreacting? I guess I will have to wait and see. 

TaDa! Here they are!

So glasses are weird.  If they aren't perfectly on your face things look funny.  I still can't figure out when I should and shouldn't wear them.  I miss just walking around.  I was looking at my iPhone yesterday with and then without my glasses and it's like a whole new world!  I can't believe that I was missing the sharpness of so many things.  Hopefully this will help with my Statistics class too!  #40IsTheNew20!

And with 40 it all goes downhill...

I went to the eye doctor today.  First time in like 20 years (give or take).  I read all the lines I think I am a total rockstar.  Then all of the sudden it happens.  I hear the dreaded words "you need a prescription".  I wanted to scream, yell and throw a tantrum.  I'm 40 years old.  I have made it this long and never needed glasses.  Now I do.  I have joined the rest of my family in the glasses department.  I feel old.  This makes me feel older than my actual birthday did.  So I picked out my new glasses, rather my sister did (she's my stylist).  They should be here in about a week.  So I have one week left as a plain old, no glasses wearing girl.

So Here it Is...

So here it is, the 4-0.  Not gonna lie doesn't feel any different than the big 3-0 or the big 3-5 or hell even yesterday.  Only difference I feel is a little more tired because my beautiful J1 was so excited to wish me Happy Birthday that she woke up around 5:30 to do so.

This hasn't been the easisest of Birthdays.  It has nothing to do with being 40 (40 is the new 20 don't ya know?).  It's much more personal than that.  B should be here with me.  Her and I should be celebrating 40 together like we have celebrated every Birthday near or far since we were 19.

I miss her.  I didn't realize how little I have actually dealt with and accepted her being gone until this week.  As it got each day closer to yesterday more and more dread filled my heart.  My anxiety grew to epic proportions.  Luckily we kept pretty busy yesterday.  We volunteered at a local run, I had a rough moment when the band played one of "our" college songs.  The kids had a baseball game.  It was hot as heck out so the fact that I was gross and sweatly definitely helped to occupy my thoughts.

Then we got home.  All the day's events were over.  All we had to do was feed the kids and put them to bed.  I sat down on the couch, and then it came, all the feelings that I had been holding in and dreading all week.  It came over me like waves.  Then came the tears but this time instead of suppressing them and wiping them away trying to be tough and strong, I let them come.  Boy did they come.  Then I felt a relief come over me.  It was a strange feeling.  One I haven't had in the five months since she has been gone.

This relief was for me.  It let me feel that I am never going to get over losing her, but it doesn't have to define me.  I don't have to be that girl who doesn't have a best friend and never will again.  I can just be me.  That is who I want to be.  That is who she would want me to be.  B would have never let something like this define her.  She went through much worse and she mourned for quite some time.  When she was ready, she picked herself up and dusted herself off.  That is the kind of me I want to be.

I am going to spend today celebrating life.  I am going to celebrate mine.  I am going to celebrate B's.  I am going to celebrate our lives together.  I am going to pick myself up, dust myself off and be the me I need to be.  I want to be a me that B can be proud of.  I want to be a me that I can be proud of.  I want to be a me that my girls can be proud of.

Today is my Birthday and I am here to celebrate it and I know that B is celebrating with me just like I celebated her yesterday!  No distance can keep best friends from being together because we will always be in each other's hearts!

I love you B and I will love you forever and always!!!

Now on to the big 4-0!  

Mommy Madness: Are you Summer Ready?

Mommy Madness: Are you Summer Ready?: Now that Memorial Day weekend is over SUMMER IS HERE!!! Are you ready for summer?  With all the running around with the kids, pool trips, wa...

Are you Summer Ready?

Now that Memorial Day weekend is over SUMMER IS HERE!!! Are you ready for summer?  With all the running around with the kids, pool trips, water park trips, playdates you are going to need all the energy that you have!  I have a challenge for my readers.  Now that I have started using the It Works products I can't tell you how much energy I feel like I have.  I wake up in the morning and I am ready (ok almost ready) for anything that J1 and J2 have to throw at me.  Whether it's heading over to the Cheney Pool, or just setting up the Bouncy in the backyard and hanging out there I am ready.  I am challenging all of you to check out my 90 day challenge.  This challenge is testing a sample of the It Works products to help cleanse, lose and tighten your body.  I have actually been in the lose phase for longer because that is my focus right now.  It really has made everything easier for me.  We went to a family party yesterday and I was full of energy ready to chase the kids around and play and enjoy them.  You have lots to lost and everything to gain by giving it a chance.  Email me or call me and we can set up your challenge and chart your results with before/after photos so we can show another success story.


Kimberly Blackburn
Independent Distributor
It Works Global
kimberly@workitwithkimberly.com
www.workitwithkimberly.com

Feeling Frustrated and Sad...

I am feeling VERY frustrated.  As some of you know I lost my very best friend in the entire world this past December to a Stage IV Glioblastoma.  She went almost exactly one year from diagnosis to passing.  She had two surgeries, chemo, and radiation.  She did everything.  She is the strongest person that I know.  I miss her everyday and sometimes missing her literally paralyzes me with anxiety about how I am going to get throught the rest of my life without her.  Then I feel selfish because I think about her husband and their three little girls and how hideously unfair this whole thing has been to them.  It's a vicious cycle that I can't seem to pull out of.

I am trying but with our Birthdays coming up in less than 2 weeks EVERYTHING reminds me of her.  I spent 40 mins snot drip sobbing to the season finale of Grey's Anatomy while I watched Cristina leave.  Anyone who has watched the show knows that Cristina and the title character Meredith are best friends.  They are each other's "person".  She was my "person".  The only one on the Earth that knew me better than me and vice versa.  We have been with each other for over 20 years.  We lived together for 5.  We were there for each other's first dates with our husbands, the birth of our children, the passing of grandparents, and family.  I was there with her when she found out about her sister's death.  We were pregnant together.  I was actually pregnant with both of my girls while she was pregnant with her youngest (gotta love Irish twins).

Coming back to the point, I am very involved in our local Relay For Life.  I have been since we started the team in 2011 in honor of my MIL.  This year we are also doing it in her honor.  I have invited EVERYONE I know (friends, family, virtual strangers) in town to be a part of our team.  The event is in less than 1 month and I have 2 people besides myself signed up.  One of them I literally forced to do it while he was here at my house visiting my husband, and the other is a wonderful mom that I have met this year at dance school.  I have pretty much done everything that I can think of short of dropping to my knees in front of each person and begging them to join.  The apathy of friends and family as I am trying so hard to throw myself into this to help the pain and the loss of her is honestly hurtful.  I feel like I try to be there for everyone.  I try to help and do what I can.  Sometimes it isn't much because I have 2 kids and obviously they have to come first, but I feel like I have tried to support everything that people have asked us to.  Where are those people now?  Don't get me wrong I DON'T do these things for reciprocation.  I do them because they are the right thing to do and mostly it's been to the benefit of the kids.  So I am not sure why I still find myself being upset that no one is there for me.

I wonder how they would feel if at 39 years old they lost the person besides their immediate family that meant the most to them.  It's been 5 months and I still pick up the phone at least twice a week to call her and tell her some insignificant story about life or about something silly, cute, annoying, etc the girls have done.  I cry for "no reason" from my kids viewpoint but really a song, or tv show, or commercial or even just quiet makes me think of her.  I have to explain to my kids that I just miss Auntie.

Even worse than not being able to get my own friends and family to support the cause, is the complete apathy of some of the members of the committee.  They just do the same old thing every year, no more no less.  There is no sense of excitement, there is no sense of urgency for the event to succeed.  We had a member this weekend take 2 hours out of her day to be available for picking up materials to start promoting the event.  Posters, flyers, etc. not a single person showed up to pick anything up.  How are we supposed to get this town plastered for the event without any help.

I know I sound whiny, and I understand why it means more to me than to others especially this year.  What I don't understand is why it's so hard to get people to support something that is so important.  Cancer research is coming along in leaps and bounds over the years.  Was it able to save my friend, no but I am sure as HELL gonna bust my ass to continue to help raise money so that her death isn't in vain.  Maybe someday, another young mother may be saved and won't be leaving a husband and three beautiful children behind.  We hear the stories, we read the papers, but unless it happens to you the impact just isn't there.

Just venting, I am sure that we will have a successful event and I know that no matter what she will be looking down on me smiling and proud of what I have done.

Have you tried that "crazy wrap thing"?

Work It With Kimberly Kimberly Blackburn kimberly@workitwithkimberly.com 815-714-2628 732-979-4255 http://workitwithkimberly.myitworks.com www.workitwithkimberly.com Most adults have at least one area of their body that they would improve if they could. Individuals all over the world are getting results.  What would you work on stomach, arms, thighs, face?  The products are able to be used on all of the above areas and many more. In addition to the wraps, we have a complete compliment of skincare, lifestyle, and herbal supplements.  Not only will you see results on your problem areas, you can begin working toward a healthier lifestyle. Take a minute to check out my website and the photos and see the differences for yourself.   Click here to get more information

The First Day of School

Today was the very first "First Day of School" in our house.  I still can't believe how fast the girls are growing.  J1 started 4 y/o preschool and J2 started 3 y/o preschool.  I know it's only 3 days a week.  I know it's only 2 hours a day.  I know all these things but yet still got a little teary as I was leaving the school after dropping them off.  I can't believe how quickly my babies are growing up.  J1 has already lost 2 teeth.  We've had 2 visits from the tooth fairy and she's not even 5 yet!!!

I know that as a mom I am supposed to be thrilled that my girls are secure enough to leave me and go to school and not look back, but I have to admit that I was a little sad today that they didn't "need mommy" like some of the other kids did.

Both girls had wonderful days and raved about all that they did.  J1 even sang the alphabet song PERFECTLY tonight for the first time ever (she used to swap J and K in the order).  They love their teachers and are thrilled about their new school bags.  I even had a little homework of my own in the way of paperwork and packing a change of clothes for them to keep at school.

So we had a very successful first day.  I hope that everything goes just as smoothly tomorrow for the first day of dance class!!

Summer is HERE!!!

So Summer is striking back with a vengence.  We have had hot, humid, muggy weather with temps in the upper 80s+.  We finally got to go to the pool today.  We tried a different pool than we usually go to and I have to say I am totally in love with it!  The girls loved it and swam and swam.  It's zero depth and has a small little slide for them, a mushroom splasher and some spray splashers.  The area is way smaller than the waterpark so it's much easier for me to watch them both.  We had such a great day today and are looking forward to heading back later in the week!!

If you are interested here is a link to their website.

http://www.lockportpark.org/chaney_pool.php

Summer is still not exactly here...

Well it's summer, at least it's supposed to be.  It still feels like spring (or fall even).  I just wish that we could have more than one day in a row with decent summer weather and not rain.  It's been quite annoying.  We haven't had the chance to go to the water park.  At least we were able to set up the slip n  slide for the girls in the backyard.  They do love having a waterslide as they call it.

It's been a busy summer so far.  Between recital, and Relay For Life, baseball and Mom's visit, we've been going and going.  J1's last baseball game is this weekend (after 3 rainouts).  I can't even believe how much she has improved over the course of a few months.  She really does enjoy it and Daddy loves helping her.

Mom brought a book for the girls when she came.  It's a take on "There was an Old Lady that Swallowed a Fly", it's about a coyote.  Well she read it to them every night and it's now their favorite book and after reading it so many times they can actually "read" it themselves.  They both know the book by heart and love to read it to Mommy and Daddy.  There is something so amazing and special in their little faces as they "read" to us.  The pride in their voices when they read the last line is so amazing.  I am so proud of them.  Now we just have to find some more books to teach them to "read".

We had a "Cousins Sleepover" last weekend.  My niece and nephew were here and it went fantastic.  The kids were all great.  They all went to bed, slept through the night and got along really well.  It was nice to see how they can all play together so nice with minimal drama.  With J2 and my nephew being so close in age I was prepared for all kinds of fights and sharing issues and I was so happy that there were none.  I was also worried for my nephew because we don't have any "boy" toys here.  Well he found a light up toy that we had gotten last year turned it into a light saber and had a blast.  It was definitely a very successful overnight.

The girls went to their first concert this past weekend also.  Zendaya was playing at our local festival.  They were very excited to see Rocky from "Shake It Up'.  J1 had a great time and danced and played and enjoyed herself.  J2 didn't get a nap and decided to take one there at the concert.  Not exactly sure how tired one has to be to pass out in the middle of a football field at a concert but she sure did.  We had a great time and it was nice family day.

I hope that the weather gets summery soon!!  Here's looking forward to the rest of the summer!!

First Recital!

So J1 and J2 had their first recitals for dance this weekend.  I must say I think I was more nervous than they were.  I never realized how much time it takes to get them "ready" for it.  Putting makeup on J2 was more than an experience.  I think that it might have been easier to find a needle in a haystack.  J1 was great and loved every minute of makeup time.  

Then of course there was the hair.  J1 was fairly easy and I got help.  J2 was definitely more difficult.  Her style was curls.  Well J2's hair is mostly straight.  So I got to relive my childhood while I watched my mom roll her hair in the sponge rollers just like she used to do when we were little girls for special occasions.  

Rehearsal was a little nerve wracking because the girls had different rehearsal times.  J2 had to be there by 8:30!  J1's rehearsal and picture time was 10:10-11:00 and she had an 11:15 baseball game.  We were lucky and we got it all done.  Although it was pretty cute to see her out on the baseball field in full dance recital makeup.  

On recital day it was much more relaxed getting ready since we didn't need to be there until 12:30.  But it literally took over an hour to get their hair and makeup done with mom and I working on them.  It was worth every minute.  They were fantastic.  I must say I did tear up a little to see my little angels on stage and doing so well.  I honestly have to say it's one of my proudest mom moments so far.  Having seen them work on these dances since September and see it all come together was pretty amazing.  I also have to say I thouroughly enjoyed the recital.  Seeing all the girls dance and the costumes, it was a very well put together show.  The timing was perfect it came in at just under 2 hours.  Seeing my little ones come out for the finale was also adorable.  J2 was boogeying on down on stage with all the "big girls" and just having a blast.  

I had toyed with the idea of leaving after their performances.  I was a little concerned because the recital was literally right in the middle of nap time.  I am so glad that we stayed.  The girls had a wonderful time and loved that Daddy and Mommy and GaGa got them flowers.  They were so excited and so happy.  I want to say thank you to their dance teacher Miss Shelley and to everyone at BDA for an amazing afternoon, that I will remember for forever!  

Here are Mom, Dad, and My Little Mermaid and My little Strawberry Shortcake.  

Memorial Day Weekend

Well the unofficial start to summer is upon us.  Although I can honestly say it does not feel very summery here in Chi-town area.

With the weather being less than stellar it has given me time to reflect on what this holiday is truly about.  This holiday is to celebrate those that have dedicated their lives to protect our freedoms.  There is something pretty amazing about a person that can be that strong.  I know that often times individuals enter the military for all different kinds of reasons.  I don't really care their reason.  Their selflessness in putting their lives on the line for our country in whatever capacity is something to be celebrated and admired.

I would like to take a moment to thank with all my heart those who have served, are serving, and have lost their lives to protect my freedoms.  Most importantly I want to thank their families.  I can't imagine what it must be like to have someone you love so far away.  Military families sacrifice for all of us daily and I am grateful to them as well.  They provide the support to those service men and women that are out protecting our freedoms every single day.

Honoring those that protect our country isn't (or shouldn't be) about politics.  I don't care if you agree with whatever war(s) our government is engaging in.  As AMERICANS we should ALL be offering a debt of gratitude to those who fight every day to give us all the freedom to live in a democracy (as flawed as it might be).  Politics should NEVER take precedence when it comes to giving thanks and well wishes to those that fight for this country.

So please take a moment this weekend to reflect on what freedoms you have that are constantly being protected by our service men and women in all branches.  I would also like to personally thank each and every one of you for what you have given to our country.  May all those that have perished in their fight to protect America be blessed.  May their families be blessed and know that without their ultimate sacrifice America could be a far different place today.

No matter how flawed America may be and how badly our political system is at the moment.  I am proud to be able to call America home.  I hope that we can learn from our mistakes and move forward stronger and more prosperous, for me and most importantly my children.  There is no doubt that we as citizens have a lot of work to do, and many people to hold accountable for the reinvigoration of America.  We need to hold ourselves accountable so that all the sacrifices that our service men and women make are not in vain.

My pledge to myself this Memorial Day is to become more educated about what is going on in our country.  To be more vocal when I can be about things that I don't agree with.  To not allow party lines to blur what I believe is the right thing for our country.  I don't only owe it to myself and my children, but I owe it to all those that have come before me and fought to allow me the freedom to have these opportunities.  That is my pledge on this special weekend.  I encourage you all to do the same.


In the words of Lee Greenwood, "I am proud to be an American, where at least I know I am free.  And I won't forget the men (and women) who died who gave that right to me.  And I'll gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today.  'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land.  God Bless the USA!

Wedding Vacation Weekend

Just had an amazing weekend with the family.  We went up to Lake Geneva for my Father in Law's wedding and stayed at the Timber Ridge Resort at the Grand Geneva.  It was fantastic.  The resort has an indoor water park and the girls loved it.  So did my husband.  The kids played and enjoyed every minute.  In fact J1 cried when it was time to leave.  She didn't want to leave her "vacation home".

The wedding was beautiful.  It was outdoors overlooking the golf course and a beautiful fountain.  All the kids were adorable and walked up the aisle and were very well behaved during the ceremony.  They danced and danced and had such a great time.  My new Mother in Law looked beautiful.  Both of them were so happy and I am so happy that they found each other.

Here is our family picture from the wedding.  It was an amazingly beautiful day with the sun shining and everything went perfectly.

A special Congrats to the newlyweds Mr. & Mrs John & Patty Blackburn.

The Great Gatsby and it's fashions!

So excited to see this movie.  I loved his version of Romeo and Juliet with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio. I can only imagine how incredible this movie will be.  Baz has such a unique way of directing and I have such a love for this book.  Here's some tips and info below to be able to get the amazing looks and style you see in the movie.

Full of glitz, glamour, ornate details, and a true style all its own - what girl wouldn't want "The Great Gatsby" look? Whether you are looking to enjoy a casual Gatsby themed garden party or don your most glamorous look at a fabulous cocktail evening, there are plenty of ways with ModCloth to add a flapper-esque flair to any look this spring/summer. 

• Details, details, details. Epaulets, pearls, rhinestones, and sequins were highly used during this time period to add glitz to an evening outfit.

• Slender silhouettes. While you could still see a full skirt, long hemline, and high neck, the robe de style dress featuring a drop waist and straight cut was the most popular style. 

• Haute headpieces. To top off the entire look, add a whimsical & decadent headpiece from ModCloth. You can even DIY a fabulous headband with ribbon, feathers, and gemstones!

For more tips & tricks to achieve the perfect flapper-esque look, you can visit the ModStylists here: ModCloth ModStylists Will Style You Up!. The ModStylists can put together a look-book specifically for you!